“Being at ARC has shown me that a sober life is a life worth living. I have built a sober network that has allowed me to progress in my sobriety. I have gained the tools to remain clean and have built a solid foundation to start my new life.”
Dear Addiction,
This is my final Goodbye to Drugs, Alcohol, Codependency, negative self-talk, self hatred, body image issues, toxic abusive relationships and the desperate need to be accepted by others. You started taking over my life at a young age. You manifested in so many different forms, at least for the last 15 plus years. I’ve always felt lost and never comfortable or content in myself, mentally, physically or emotionally. I always wanted to be anyone BUT me.
I never was comfortable with my own thoughts, choices, or anything. I was always afraid to speak what was on my mind for fear of rejection or people not liking me. I lost myself in toxic abusive relationships with anyone who would let me latch on to them. Addiction has kept me from my family, my son and anyone who genuinely had my best interest at heart.
I am no longer willing to put people places and things before my recovery, my son or the rest of my family for that matter. Unfortunately the last 3 years before I was incarcerated this time my relationship with my mom was nonexistent and very strained. I was called to booking to make one final phone call to tell my mom goodbye. She was unable to talk back, but made noises so I would know she could hear me. She passed away this year at 6pm May 20th, 2021. I don’t think you can really prepare yourself for some goodbyes. Like telling a parent or anyone you love goodbye. Although the one that’s easy for me today is saying goodbye to my addiction and all of the negative things that came with it. Today I choose to live.
Brittany C.
Honesty means telling the truth, no matter how ugly it might be. It also means being sincere in your actions and doing things for the right reasons. Integrity is doing what is right, especially when no one is looking. Growing up, my family never gave me a pat on the back for being honest. They actually gave me more shit when I was honest. When this happened time after time eventually I learned that it was easier just to tell them what they wanted to hear. So I ended up learning this bad behavior and continued to practice it even when I wasn’t dealing with my family. This is also a form of manipulation. Manipulation and dishonesty served me well through my addiction as a survival technique. It has also kept me from forming genuine and meaningful relationships with other human beings. I believe this behavior kept me disconnected and using for a really long time. Now that I’m in recovery, this behavior is causing me more harm than good. It’s no longer serving the same purpose. Being honest is something I struggle with and it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of not getting what I want or losing something I think I deserve. If I’m going to recover then I need to build connections with other people who are also in recovery. I see now how no real connection can be built in dishonesty. Being honest with other people will also create the accountability that I need. If people don’t really know what’s going on with me then how will I be able to reach out for help when shit hits the fan? This is a behavior I have to keep practicing because my life depends on it. Being dishonest isn’t a behavior I learned over night but with practice, I know I can unlearn this behavior. I also have to learn that some people appreciate honesty, especially when it’s ugly.
Robert G.
Well this is a goodbye letter to a long time companion. Ya know how ya sometimes go through life looking for your soulmate searching and searching for just the right one? Well my sister Ellen, an angel, found this place for me. And this is the place I’ve been looking for, for the last half of my life. I feel and believe with all my heart that the angels here at ARC are the ones that are showing me the way to change my life, my thinking, my way of being. I don’t need to go into detail on everything that my addiction has cost me or made me lose (we all know what those are). I would like to say that hurting and worrying my family the way I have is what I’m most ashamed of. Thank God my family has been loving and caring through the good times and bad and more bad. They have loved me unconditionally. That’s what has made this so different and finding ARC has been a blessing. So, before I graduate from this world with the help of ARC and all her angels. I will finally master or atleast gain control over my body and soul from this awful opponent of life, my addiction So with that I’ll say Hasta la vista Arrivederci Kiss my ass and goodbye forever and ever to my Addiction
Your X companion Scott.
Scott H.
Hey, it’s me. We… Need to talk. I know it’s been a few months now, but I needed to compose myself. This has been a long time coming. And I think we both knew it. We had a lot of good times, but the truth is… It’s just not working out anymore.
Let’s start from the beginning. I flirted with you when I was in my twenties. I think we had a few mutual friends. I thought I really knew you back then when alcohol introduced us. We had such a good time. Drinking, having fun, staying up all night, sleeping all day. But the truth is, I didn’t really know you. I started getting an idea that we weren’t right for each other when you started getting in the way of my life. We started missing school, missing work, we even broke a couple of laws.
But that was only a preview of who you really were, wasn’t it? We took a little time apart, but when we reconnected, you were back with an agenda. That’s when I got to know the real you. The depraved, selfish monster you really were.
I think the worst part of it, thought. Is that you showed me what a depraved, selfish monster I could really be. And I hated myself. And you were the only one who would never judge me for the terrible things I was doing. At least, that’s what you made me think. So I stayed. I Isolated. I spent all of my time, money, and effort on you. You were my world at one point. I gave up everything to be with you. Even my home. You were more important to me than somewhere to sleep at night.
And I wouldn’t trade those times for the world. Those times made me who I am today. But it’s time to say goodbye. Because I’ve lost my friends. I’ve lost my family. I’ve lost my freedom. And it wasn’t you that took it from me, we did it together. But I’ve found somebody else. Somebody that wants me to be happy. And healthy. And to get back everything I lost. Somebody that understands what you do to people. I thought I was special, but it turns out that you get around, don’t you? Seems like the whole damn town was with you at some point or another.
It was hard to say goodbye. Hell, I haven’t even said it yet. But I’m saying it now. Goodbye. Good luck with everyone you see in the future. Let them know that I’ll be around to help pick up the pieces after you do to them what you did to me.
Alex M.
When I met you I thought you were cool. We hung out a couple times a month. But we got closer and closer. Then we became good friends and hung out on the weekends. You helped me make more friends and showed me new ways to have fun. After a while we became best friends and we hung out as much as possible. You helped me make a lot of friends and most of my girlfriends. Things were going great. But the more friends and girls we made we became closer. After a while of us being together I started to fall in love with you. Then it happened. Once I was in love I wanted you all for myself. Then you helped me push all my friends away. I didn’t know you wanted me all to yourself just like me. I didn’t know how sneaky you were. Then out of nowhere as time flew by and I realized that everything you had brought me was a lie to get me to love you and only you. You took my friends, my jobs, my cars, my family, my time, and even myself. You were very good at diverting my attention to only the good thing so that I couldn’t see that you have taken everything from me. Well now I see you for what you are. You’re a snake in the grass looking to ruin anyone’s lives that you can. You destroy lives and don’t care what the end game is. But I know now what you are and I no longer love you. So goodbye and I’ll never see you again. And I’m telling everyone who you really are so you can’t do to them what you did to me. So bye felicia!
Kevin C.
